Divorce 3

It’s not easy
to be alone
other people
have impatient
waiting-room eyes.
The floor pulls
your steps out from
under you.
You swing yourself
from hour
to hour.
A vocabulary
of about
one hundred words
was not included
when the property
was divided.

The longing for
discomfort
the lack of
strong smells.
Stale smoke
in the curtains.
The bed is
now too wide.
Girlfriends leave
when the potatoes
need boiling.

Freedom
won’t come
until the next train
an unknown
passenger
who does not
like children.
The dog is
restless
sniffs at
the wrong trouser legs
will soon be
in heat.

You read
books
watch TV
register
nothing
are suddenly
ecstatic
in the morning
and miserable
by nightfall.

It’s a phase
girlfriends say
something you have
to get through.
Weightless as an
astronaut
you float around
in empty rooms
and wait
for the freedom
to do
what you
no longer
want to.

-Tove Ditlevsen, translated by Sophia Hersi Smith and Jennifer Russell, from The Paris Review Issue 238, Winter 2021